The Ene(me)

One thing to always keep in mind is that we live in a fallen world. We are at war and warfare is a task for soldiers. I do not claim to be an expert in the area, but I will say that I have been studying this for close to a year straight. Some of what I have found in my research you will find in my blog.
There are certain things a soldier must know in order to be effective on the field of battle. There is no difference when it comes to spiritual warfare. As warriors, we must know the answers to very important questions if we are to fight the war properly. The first and most important question is “who is the enemy?”

There is more than one way that enemy reveals itself to us – for the sake of this blog and where my heart sits today, I am going to focus on ourself. The reason I have chosen this is because without conquering our internal enemy, we cannot defeat the external enemy. I have been on a personal mission to cover myself in the armor of God on a daily basis (Ephesians, Chapter 6) and wage war against a strong and determined enemy. As you can see in recent posts, I have been struggling with my own personal sinful nature – the sinful nature that was bestowed upon me 2000 years ago in a beautiful garden - not placing blame here, its a fact. The bible tells us to take care of our own sin prior to go after the sin of others.

Matthew 7:3-5 (New Living Translation)

“And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend,‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? 5 Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.

It is very telling that Jesus calls a person who does not deal with his own sin first a “hypocrite”. Hypocrisy is condemned in a number of places in the NT (Mat 7:5, Mat 23:28, Mk 12:15, Lk 6:42, Lk 12:1, Lk 13:15, 1 Ti 4:2, Jam 3:17). I will only mention Luke 12:1 here because it is key in understanding what is happening when we act in hypocrisy.

Luke 12:1 (New Living Translation)

Meanwhile, the crowds grew until thousands were milling about and stepping on each other. Jesus turned first to his disciples and warned them, “Beware of the yeast of the Pharisees—their hypocrisy.

When we are hypocrites we follow the teaching of the Pharisees, not the teaching of Jesus. If we act under any teaching or authority except that of Jesus, we cannot fight the enemy. Look at what happened to the sons of Sceva when they tried to cast out evil spirits . . .

Acts 19:13-16 (New Living Translation)

A group of Jews was traveling from town to town casting out evil spirits. They tried to use the name of the Lord Jesus in their incantation, saying, “I command you in the name of Jesus, whom Paul preaches, to come out!” Seven sons of Sceva, a leading priest, were doing this. But one time when they tried it, the evil spirit replied, “I know Jesus, and I know Paul, but who are you?” Then the man with the evil spirit leaped on them, overpowered them, and attacked them with such violence that they fled from the house, naked and battered.

When we do not fight our own sin first and act under the authority and teaching of Jesus, we will be overcome by the enemy and lose the battle.

Hipocracy is a formidable opponent in the spiritual battle. How can I expect that I will not be judged if I continue to pass judgment on others.The bible teaches us not to judge and is very specific on this point.

Matthew 7:1 (New Living Translation)

“Do not judge others, and you will not be judged."

I have spoken in previous blogs about my resentment and judgmental behavior toward my extended family and San Diego and this is the sin that I live with. Along the lines of resentment and judgment comes different forms of anger – more sin.

In this war, in this battle, the enemy is entrenched on the battlefield. The confidence of the enemy will be his downfall. As I sit here writing this, my wife sent me a text message that read:

Genesis 20:50

Joseph said to his brothers “You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.”

Joseph knew that God had a plan.
Joseph trusted in God,
And now Joseph forgave his brothers.
God planned for Josephs good.

This is exactly the scripture I needed at exactly this point in time. Not that my brothers "intended to harm me", but certainly the enemy did. The take away here is forgiveness and placing faith in God and His plan. My wife and kids are working/attending Vacation Bible School at OCC this week and this is the story they are studying today.

Its important not to beat ourselves up too much as this is also the enemy working in us to keep push us away from our Father. It would be much easier to deal with sin if we were not held accountable you know(?) No matter what sin(s) we have committed – no matter how big or small – we can surrender those and leave them at the cross. What happens after we do that is what most important – sustaining the win. We must never forget that the war is ongoing, there are many battles to won.

As many of you know, I love epic films and watch movies through a lens that allows God to speak to my heart. As I am writing this post, I am reminded of the speech that Lieutenant Colonel Harold “Hal” G. Moore gave when addressing the 7th Cavalry in the movie “We Were Soldiers”. Here is a small piece of this speech that was given just before the soldiers deployed:

“We’re moving into the ‘valley of the shadow of death’ – where you will watch the back of the man next to you, as he will watch yours. And you won’t care what color he is or by what name he calls God. They say we’re leavin’ home. We’re going to what home was always suppose to be. So let us understand the situation. We are going into battle against a tough and determined enemy.”

These soldiers were going to what “home was always suppose to be” – we were always meant to be in the war – in the battle for good. The enemy has convinced us otherwise through his sinister ways… Take a stand and allow the enemy to gain no more ground. I will see you there - I will watch your back!

Love and Warfare

Last night I spent a lot of time with the Holy Spirit. I am finding it somewhat difficult to rid myself of the resentment and judgmental behavior that I have toward my brothers as it relates to my grandmothers passing away. I hate the sin! It seems every time I ask God to reveal to me the sin in my life, this always comes up - the enemy knows how important this is to me and therefore continues to assault me and try to wound me in this area of my life. I read Ephesians 6 for encouragement - this is a spiritual battle. I was in tears last night because I continue to sin by continuing to pass judgment on the perceived actions of my family even though I am consciously trying to rid myself of this behavior - its really hard.

There is one other place in my life that I struggle with as well – my father that lives in Oregon. This also seems to come up every time I ask God to reveal to me those areas of sin in my life that I need to deal with. I was adopted and my birth father lives in Oregon and I just cannot get that relationship off the ground. Part of it is because I feel judged by him and his wife every time I see him. I think that this is what pushed my older brother (same father) and his wife away from them many years ago. I am trying to find a way to tell my father this, but it’s difficult – that arrow is placed deep in the most sensitive corner of heart.

I think as humans living in a fallen world, we all have those areas of sin that are hard to separate us from. As I continue to grow in my faith and become closer and closer to Him, I feel a sense of freedom. Occasionally I can taste the feeling of pure holiness before God. This is what I long for - pure transparency and cleansing of my soul before my Father. The enemy is fully aware of my desire and is using the things that are closest to my heart to trip me up. I long to have a rich relationship with my family - I long to see everybody sitting around the table at my house enjoying the company of one another. I long for God to reveal himself to those that closest to me. I long for my family to know how much I love them and how much I want them to be a part of my life.

“Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.”
1 Peter 5:8-9

The Lord Is a Warrior

Good stuff!

I think even a quick read of the Old Testament would be enough to convince you that war is a central theme of God’s activity. There is the Exodus, where God goes to war to set his captive people free. Blood. Hail. Locusts. Darkness. Death. Plague after plague descends on Egypt like a boxer’s one-two punch, like the blows of some great ax. Pharaoh releases his grip, but only for a moment. The fleeing slaves are pinned against the Red Sea when Egypt makes a last charge, hurtling down on them in chariots. God drowns those soldiers in the sea, every last one of them. Standing in shock and joy on the opposite shore, the Hebrews proclaim, “The LORD is a warrior!” (Ex. 15:3). Yahweh is a warrior.

Then it’s war to get to the Promised Land. Moses and company have to do battle against the Amalekites; again God comes through, and Moses shouts, “The LORD will be at war against the Amalekites from generation to generation” (Ex.17:16). Yahweh will be at war. Indeed. You ain’t seen nothin’ yet. Then it’s war to get into the Promised Land—Joshua and the battle of Jericho, and all that. After the Jews gain the Promised Land, it’s war after war to keep it. Israel battles the Canaanites, the Philistines, the Midianites, the Egyptians again, the Babylonians—and on and on it goes. Deborah goes to war; Gideon goes to war; King David goes to war. Elijah wars against the prophets of Baal; Jehoshaphat battles the Edomites. Are you getting the picture?

(Waking the Dead, 14–15)

The Story of Our Hearts (from Ransomed Heart - Good Stuff)

Communion with God is replaced by activity for God. There is little time in this outer world for deep questions. Given the right plan, everything in life can be managed . . . except your heart.

The inner life, the story of our heart, is the life of the deep places within us, our passions and dreams, our fears and our deepest wounds. It is the unseen life, the mystery within—what Buechner calls our “shimmering self.” It cannot be managed like a corporation. The heart does not respond to principles and programs; it seeks not efficiency, but passion. Art, poetry, beauty, mystery, ecstasy: These are what rouse the heart. Indeed, they are the language that must be spoken if one wishes to communicate with the heart. It is why Jesus so often taught and related to people by telling stories and asking questions. His desire was not just to engage their intellects but to capture their hearts.

Indeed, if we will listen, a Sacred Romance calls to us through our heart every moment of our lives. It whispers to us on the wind, invites us through the laughter of good friends, reaches out to us through the touch of someone we love. We’ve heard it in our favorite music, sensed it at the birth of our first child, been drawn to it while watching the shimmer of a sunset on the ocean. The Romance is even present in times of great personal suffering: the illness of a child, the loss of a marriage, the death of a friend. Something calls to us through experiences like these and rouses an inconsolable longing deep within our heart, wakening in us a yearning for intimacy, beauty, and adventure.

This longing is the most powerful part of any human personality. It fuels our search for meaning, for wholeness, for a sense of being truly alive. However we may describe this deep desire, it is the most important thing about us, our heart of hearts, the passion of our life. And the voice that calls to us in this place is none other than the voice of God.

We cannot hear this voice if we have lost touch with our heart.

(The Sacred Romance , 6–7)

Part of the Journey.....

Several months ago, I was talking to my son Bobby about the enemy. I explained to him that we live in a world at war and that we must constantly be aware that the enemy is present. As part of the discussion, we talked about the traditional story of the birth of Jesus. We talked about the little “precious moments” type angels floating above the manger and the shepherds and maybe a cute little donkey standing somewhere around the manger looking at Jesus. I then turned to Revelation Chapter 12 and explained to my Bobby what was really happening that glorious night. I explained to him the story that he would probably never see on a flannel board in Sunday school…. Bobby was immediately captured by this story. I could see it stirring something in his heart, the excitement and adventure that he experienced in that moment – the mighty angels of God’s army defending the baby Jesus from the enemy that wanted to kill him. We talked about enemy being cast down to the earth and the determination of the enemy to wage war on mankind. Bobby has read this story many times and I know at least one time that he sat my wife Tammy down and read it to her. Very exciting to see this reality bestowed upon him. Today we were driving to down town Seattle to pick up grandma from the train station. It was Tammy, myself, Rebecca, and Joey. Rebecca was sleeping and we were just driving along listening to a CD that Bobby had made a few days prior. The song “Voice of Truth” came on and we were kind of singing along to it and Joey (age 5) said, “hey dad, I bet you don’t think I know what this song is talking about”…… and I said “well what is it about son?”… Joey replied, “its about the devil trying to kill us and Jesus coming to save us, I love Jesus”…… he went on to say, “Bobby told me all about in the bible, we are lucky for Jesus”. I love that the boys are getting this message and beginning to understand what forces exist in this world that will one day need be dealt with by them. They are young today and at different stages in their masculine development, but the fact that the enemy is here is already understood and the boys are not scared, they know that Jesus is with us and the army’s of God will protect us. God is Good!

The maze of men and friendship

Back in February, I posted about “Friendship” and how important it had become to me. That has not changed one bit. I have made some really great friends that are believers and most of them are engaged in ministry in one form or another. I still struggle with a few relationships that I would really like to see turn into something wonderful. My wife and I joined a “LifeGroup” at church some time ago in an effort to fellowship with other Christians and meet new friends that we could hang out with. It’s a couples group and all the folks in it are really great. However, I do feel like I made a mistake within this group that has made it feel kind of weird ever since. As a group we meet twice a month and then once a month, we have a “guys night” and once a month we have a “girls night”. We had gone to dinner several months ago and Tammy and I were pretty new to the group at that time. I was sitting with the guys and the subject of a poker night came up and I latched on to that immediately. I really like to play cards and there is just something about the guys sitting around eating chili and pretzels, talking about all kinds of things and trying to win a couple of bucks over a 3 – 4 hour period. I like that. So I kind of took the bull by the horns and started planning the poker nights. What happened next kind of busted my bubble. The leader of the LifeGroup sent out a message after the 2nd or 3rd “poker night” stating that he was concerned about us spending money (buy in was $10) and gambling with the way the economy is going. He recommended that we change it up and that perhaps a movie, dinner, play board games, XBOX or something different once in a while rather than have a standing poker night was a good idea. This sounded great to me, I love board games (not so much an Xbox guy, but I was game). Poker night seemed fine as well. I responded to the message that the leader sent out and simply said that the cost of playing for 3 – 4 was much cheaper than doing anything else like going to a movie or out to eat or anything like that…. The response I got from the entire group we nothing but silence. So, I sent a quick note to one of the guys in the LifeGroup that I really trust and asked what he thought of the whole thing and he felt the same way as I did and sent a message to the group saying the game night was good and we could look at doing things other than Poker and the guys seemed good with that. But I left that situation feeling completely judged by some of the guys in the group and we have never got the whole group of guys together at one time since all of this went down – in fact we really don’t get together at all anymore. It’s like nobody in the group wants to talk about it because they are afraid or something? I don’t get know. What I do know is that when I got in to this group, I was looking for a group where all of us could be ourselves without being judged at all – a place where we could all go and dig in to the Word and learn together while supporting and loving one another. Because Bobby was in track these last several months, Tammy and I have been unable to go to the LifeGroup meetings. We are just now coming up for air and are excited to engage with our group again. They are just starting a study in Proverbs. I have been thinking quite a bit about what to do strengthen the relationships there. I am also thinking that I may be trying too hard, AGAIN. Just like back in February, I continue to feel like I constantly have to reach out to other guys to initiate some form of fellowship or get together. I am beginning to think that most guys, or at least the ones that I have chosen to try and go out with, would rather spend (all) their time doing something other than hanging out with other guys. I think my increased longing to connect with other guys is fed by the Wild at Heart message that I am focusing on in this season. I think about this John Eldridge talk that I attended about a month ago or so quite often. John came to a church here in Seattle to speak for one night on his book Fathered by God. This thing was a sell out and the room was full of men that are either in the message or trying to get in to it – I kind of rushed out of there to get home to the babysitter and really missed an opportunity to network. I have started a group on facebook and ransomedheart.net for men that are in the Wild at Heart message and live in Seattle – its starting slow, but at least its starting. I got one of the Boot Camps that was put on DVD from Ransomed Heart Ministries and plan on studying it and perhaps pulling something together at my church to facilitate a full 4 day event for men. I have been talking to some friends of mine at the church about this and they seem to be excited about the prospect. I have also talked to a few of my other friends about starting a Men’s LifeGroup to read and study the book Wild at Heart. This could be great!! If anybody reading this blog would be interested in this, leave me a comment and I will loop you in. If anybody has any thoughts or comments on this whole friendship thing, I welcome them! As part of my walk with God, I thought I would post this and get some opinions. Am I over thinking it? Am I working too hard at it? Is my approach flawed? Thanks for any thoughts – I love you folks!

One fun ride!!!!!

God Is Good! I wanted to share a recent series of events that demonstrates how God is working in my life these past several months. Since the last Boot Camp NW in April 2009.

So, here goes. I came back from Boot Camp in April and for about a week afterward I was experiencing some serious warfare that was really wearing my down. I posted about it back then. In any event, I met with a couple of the elder's from my church and began talking seriously about becoming involved with them in a non-profit organization called iPursuit. Knowing that this was a move in to ministry, and feeling God's calling, I engaged with them. After joining iPursuit, we began to look at the technological needs of certain regions in the world - water pump technology in the Sudan, Air Pollution in India, Human Trafficking in Thailand, etc. Back in January 2009, I also began speaking to GE Healthcare in Seattle about a global director role in that organization and was still in talks with them over these several months. As a result of looking at some potential root cause solutions for global issues, we decided to start working on a "for profit" business to act as a bridge to bring cutting edge technologies from the US, into regions in need. Last Monday we signed the final documents with the lawyers to finalize the formation of this business. Praise the Lord. Now, since just before Boot Camp, I was having some issues with my lower back and sciatic nerve pain. It has worsened over these past several weeks and I finally went in for an MRI this past Tuesday. Right after the MRI, I drove over to the church to meet with a couple friends to pray. We sat around ad discussed what it was we wanted to pray for and simply landed on just thanking God for his blessings and worshipping and glorifying His name. It was awesome - we did this for close to an hour and a half and were completely wiped out when we were done! I love that. Afterward, I walked out to my car and began to drive out of the parking lot when my phone rang and t was GE Healthcare....... my new boss was calling to offer me employment. Bigger than anything I have ever had in my life. I was so stoked. The beauty of this is that throughout my discussions with GE, I disclosed my involvement with iPursuit and this new company and said I would continue to work with them even if I took the role with GE. I figured if that was not OK with them than that was not the place that God had for me. Turns out, they are ok with the Kingdom work and are really pleased to have me coming aboard......I then found out that afternoon that I had been selected in the Lottery to attend te Ransomed Heart Book Camp in October in Colorado! Needless to say, I am emotionally drained coming into the end of this week and indescribably thankful for Jesus, His protection, Hs guidance, and His grace....... and most importantly, the Cross!