Acceptance and Trauma

07.13.2023 – Acceptance and Trauma During my recovery journey, one painful truth I confronted was how the childhood trauma I experienced within my family had contributed to my struggles with alcohol. The trauma had left deep emotional wounds that I initially sought to numb and escape through drinking. The memories and emotions associated with the trauma were overwhelming and often unbearable. In those moments, alcohol became a temporary refuge—a way to dull the pain, quiet the memories, and momentarily find shelter from the pain. It provided a false sense of relief, numbing the raw emotions that I wasn't ready or equipped to face at the time. However, as I progressed through my recovery, I began to recognize the destructive cycle I had fallen into. Alcohol was not a solution or a source of healing; it was merely masking the pain and prolonging my journey towards true recovery. I realized that to truly get better, I needed to confront the trauma head-on, process the emotions, and find healthier ways to cope. Use the tools that were given to me inpatient at Northpoint and in IOP afterwards. It was a challenging and courageous decision to confront the trauma without relying on alcohol as a remedy. I sought professional help and therapy to explore the roots of my trauma, develop coping mechanisms, and find healthier ways to address the pain. It was a journey of self-discovery and self-compassion, as I learned to love myself and to navigate the complexities of my emotions without numbing them. Throughout this process, I also had to face the fact that some family members were not willing to acknowledge the positive impact that recovery has had on me. Their denial and resistance only added to the difficulty of my recovery. It required me to set boundaries and prioritize my own well-being, even if it meant distancing myself from those who couldn't offer the support I needed. I needed to remove negativity from life. So, I did. In my recovery, I discovered that true healing comes from within. It involves learning to forgive myself for the unhealthy coping mechanisms I had developed, the pain I caused others including my biological family. I have now found healthier ways to address the pain and trauma. I went into Northpoint, I surrounded myself with a supportive network of individuals who understood and validated my experiences, offering encouragement and empathy along the way. Those people are really my family today. In this moment, I am proud to say that I have made significant progress in my recovery. I have developed healthier coping mechanisms, honed my resilience, and learned to face my trauma with courage and compassion. While the impact of childhood trauma will always be a part of my story, I refuse to let it define me or dictate my future. Recovery has taught me that healing is possible, even in the face of deep-seated trauma and the destructive coping mechanisms that once held me captive. By acknowledging the pain, asking for help, and finding healthier ways to cope, I have reclaimed my power and am now traveling the ancient path that those who went before me carved out. A path of love, kindness, humility, self-discovery, growth, and lasting recovery. With love and compassion – you are all miracles.