Love and War

My wife and I are coming up on 20 years of marriage. It's crazy to think that we have been married for more than half my life! I am not sure what the magic formula is or anything like that - what I do know is that it a lot of hard work and dedication.

I can honestly say that I love Tammy more today than ever. We have been through several rough valley's over the years. We were almost divorced twice, once right after Josh was born and I returned from sea (I was in the Navy at the time) and another time about 7 years in. Crazy to think where we would be today if we had followed through. I will tell you that in both instances, it was marriage counseling that got us through.

As you probably know if you have read other parts of my blog, I am a huge John Eldredge fan. Both Tammy and I have been to the Ransomed Heart Camps in Colorado. The message at these camps (Wild at Heart for men and Captivating for woman) has created a strong connection for us within our marriage. As a result of being in this message, our marriage is stronger and we understand the fact that we are at WAR and must fight for one another and our marriage.

So, we were delighted when we heard that John and his wife Stasi were releasing a book on marriage that carried the "Wild at Heart / Captivating" message. Tammy and I both read book as soon as it came out. We LOVED it. The book did a good job of uncovering the buried gemstones that make a marriage work. John and Stasi do a great job of bringing to life those "ah ha" moments that expose the reality of the situations be commonly find ourselves in. Those time when a simple argument over something really stupid can lead to thoughts of divorce and anger.

Love and War not only defines the critical issues that surround marriage, but it also provides the solutions to overcome every barrier that may exist. Even after 20 years of marriage, Tammy and I learned a lot from this book. Its amazing.

Tammy and I are so happy with the message of Love and War that we are considering starting a small group to go through the study. I have already purchased all the materials - we just need to find the time to get it started :)

I have really only touched the surface on what Love and War has to offer. If you have not read it yet, I highly recommend picking up a copy and getting started today.

Punked

I had a really interesting experience today that I wanted to share... I was getting ready to leave for work this morning it was raining really hard. I had my jacket over my arm, was carrying my brief case, had my keys in my hand, a Seahawks poster that I got at the game yesterday [to hang in my office] and my sunglasses were in one of my hands as well. I was standing on the porch looking at the rain and looking at my car. I was thinking of the quickest route to the car to minimize the wetness of me and more importantly, my poster! I unlocked my car and proceeded to move rapidly through the rain to the rear door on the driver side. As I quickly approached the door, I heard the doors lock. I hesitated for a second so that I could roll my eyes and reached for the door. Yes, indeed my doors were now locked. I began to fumble my keys around to find the "unlock" button. In the process of finding the button, I dropped my sun glasses and they bounced off my shoe and went under my car. Meanwhile, I am getting soaked and so is my poster. I get the door open, throw everything in the back seat, climb under the car and grab my sunglasses and then jumped in the car. By this point I am furious! I am convinced that the enemy is attacking me for some reason.... I turn the engine, turn off my radio and proceed to drive to work in complete silence while trying to calm down.
I got to work and went through my day as normal, not giving the mornings antics a second thought. I then grab my things and head to the car for the drive home. The parking garage was really full this morning, so I had to go down 4 levels to find a place to park. When I got to my car, I put my things in the back and entered the car for the drive home. I sat there for a moment and decided it would be a good time to pray real quick before heading out.
Immediately, I hear this laughter and ask Jesus, “What’s that all about?”… He says, “let’s talk about what happened this morning”… Now, I had not thought about what happened this morning at all until that moment. Jesus continues in a kind of “laughing” voice and says, “Dude, you always think it’s the enemy”… and He was particularly amused with Himself for dumping huge rain on me and knocking my glasses out my hand. I was honestly shocked for second by the discussion – I simply began to laugh really really hard. It was a valuable lesson for me to learn today. It’s not always the enemy and it’s not always an attack. Sometimes things just happen and other times it might just be Jesus punking you for being stupid and blaming the enemy for every bad thing that ever happens to you. I got totally punked. When I went through the above sequence of events after understanding all of this, it’s hilarious. This is the kind of stuff you see on America’s Funniest Home Videos or something.
In the end I thanked Jesus for the lesson and smiled for the entire ride home. Every time I look at the water damaged Seahawks poster in my office at work, it will remind of today’s talk. It’s great to have a Savior and teacher with a good sense of humor. How can you not love this guy!?

SERVE

So here I sit at the end of 2009 wondering where the year has gone. I have been pondering the coming year for the past several days - trying to think of a theme. My wife asked me, "what is your word for 2010?" - what one word would I use to describe my intentions next year... there were several things that I want to work on and it was difficult to sum them up in one word. After much consideration, I landed on "SERVE". I chose this word for several reasons, all of which are areas that I plan to focus on in the coming year.

SERVE MY GOD
I have been growing in my faith and desire to intentionally take my relationship with God to the next level. I registered to take a class starting in January called Perspectives - this will help me to grow closer in my relationship with Jesus Christ and gain some level of clarity around my calling. I am trying be very intentional in focusing on my realtionship with Him and am actually excited about getting involved in this study. I also have a few other things I am looking forward to and working on. The business that we started last year [Global Platform Solutions] to fund Global Breakthrough will begin working with a couple of businesses in 2010 to establish a revenue stream and fund the missions of Global Breakthrough - very exciting oppotunities to expand the Kingdom. I will be attending 2 Wild at Heart bootcamp events and hopefully one Advanced event in 2010. I am headed to Crooked Creek in Colorado in March and down to the Washington Family Camp in Oregon in April - both of these camps will provide me with a great opportunity to witness to other men about the transformation that has occured in my life and hopefully help them open the door and allow God to restore thier hearts. I am so excited to be serving God and expanding the Kingdom - 2010 will be EPIC!

SERVE MY FAMILY
Of course, continuing to work and pay the bills and provide a good life is in there some where, but I thinking about more intentional things. I am thinking about things specifically around my marriage and around my son, Bobby. As my marriage is concerned, serving here will benefit my whole family. I was talking to friend of mine the other day about marriage and I was explaining to him that marriage is like being on a cruise ship all alone with your spouse. There are times when you need to be down in the belly of the ship patching holes and bailing water and truly working hard and there are other times when you can simply enjoy some time up on the sun deck watching a football game on a big screen jumbotron or something. The important thing about marriage is to always be alert and looking for the leaks and looking ahead to make sure you are on course - watching for those big icebergs. I have learned that it is vital to constantly evaluate the needs of my wife and make sure I am filling those needs - even asking her if I am meeting them. I will intentionally pursue my wife with a vengence and keep alert for for those times and experiences where the enemy may try to come in a screw things up. I will pray for my marriage daily and ask God to reveal to me all areas where I can improve. I love my wife more today than ever and if I have to be alone on a cruise ship in the middle of the ocean, I could not think of a stronger, more dedicated person to be with than her. A side benefit of serving my marriage is the positive impact this will have on all of kids - I intend to teach them that its ok (and required) to go down in the belly of the ship once in a while a argue loudly and disagree on certain things because in the end, our love and relationship is strong enough to withstand the worst storms that life can throw at us.

My son, Bobby turns 13 this year in about a week. I intend to make a list of things that we will do to recognize his move into young adulthood. Some of the things we have already planned are trips down to Oregon to visit his grandpa Jack, my dad, and learn how shoot compound bows and all kinds of guns. We will make the trip alone and I am also excited about the opportunity to bond with my dad as well. I have been neglecting that relationship for too long.

SERVING MY FRIENDS
I will intentionally look for opportunities to witness to friends about how God has changed my life. How He has renewed several areas of my life and continues reveal new things all the time. I am also very interested in starting a small group with Tammy of no more than 6 people that are intested in doing life together, getting together and studying God's word and sharing our lifes experiences with one another to strengthen our faith and intentionally build better relationships in our community.

SERVING THE HEARTS OF MEN
I am very interested in continuing to pursue the possiblity of starting a ministry in the northwest that goes after restoration of the hearts of men through the message of Wild at Heart. This has been on my heart for over a year now and I will be intentional about learning and refining the process of delivering this message and helping men recover that which was taken from them in the garden of eden. Stay tuned on this front.

MY HEALTH
The final most significant thing that I intend to work on is my health. I stopped smoking in early 2009 and since then have gained about 40 lbs. In order for me to serve the Kingdom effectively, I have got to improve my health. My weight has an impact on almost every aspect of my life - it prevents me taking on adventures that I would like to on, it makes me feel self conscious when I am around others, and it has a significant impact on my self esteem and self image. I have to fix this and I will use prayer and faith to provide my strength in attacking this opportunity in my life. The enemy knows what this does to me and he loves to camp out there....

I will pray tonight that all of you enjoy the new year and are showered with God's Grace in 2010.

What is your word for 2010?

Something Up His Sleeve

Rescuing the human heart is the hardest mission in the world.

The dilemma of the Story is this: we don’t know if we want to be rescued. We are so enamored with our small stories and our false gods, we are so bound up in our addictions and our self-centeredness and take-it-for-granted unbelief that we don’t even know how to cry out for help. And the Evil One has no intention of letting his captives walk away scot-free. He seduces us, deceives us, assaults us—whatever it takes to keep us in darkness.

Like a woman bound to an affair from which she cannot get free, like a man so corrupted he no longer knows his own name, the human race is captive in the worst way possible—we are captives of the heart.

Their hearts are always going astray. (Hebrews 3:10)

God is filled with the jealousy of a wounded lover. He has been betrayed time and again.

The challenge God faces is rescuing a people who have no idea how captive they are; no real idea how desperate they are. We know we long for Eden, but we hesitate to give ourselves back to God in abandoned trust. We are captivated by the lies of our Enemy.

But God has something up his sleeve.

Eldredge is brilliant, his ability to put thoughts in to words is amazing!
Epic 62 - 64

Is He trying to tell me something?

Sometimes it may be God trying to tell you something or send a message. Its not always what you might like to think it is.....

The Sniper

It has been a while.... I have to say there is a lot going on in my life these days. I am still getting settled in to my new job, the kids are involved in all kinds of sports, I had braces put on my teeth about a month ago, I had minor surgery on my right thumb a couple weeks ago, a friend of mine is battling a lawsuit to preserve his business that will become a key piece of the missionary ministry that I am part of and I am preparing to head to Colorado in a couple of weeks to attend a Wild at Heart Boot Camp with John Eldridge and his band of warriors. What does all this mean?

SPIRITUAL WARFARE is abundant in my life. The enemy is sniping me at every turn.

About a month ago I was considering leaving the church we attend because of some perceptions that I had developed. The enemy was right there feeding me with all kinds of judgemental thoughts. I was on the edge of leaving when I sat down with my friend, Jeff, and talked to him about it. Jeff is somewhat of a spiritual mentor for me [he is also an elder in the church]. I explained to him what I was thinking and he told me to follow my heart and allow God to lead me. He encouraged me to "remember why you are there [at church], you are not there for anybody but God" - this hit me like a ton of bricks and exposed the enemies strategy. I prayed after my meeting with Jeff and removed the enemies foothold....

I went to court a few Friday's ago to support and pray for my friend, Robert. He is the rightful owner of a company and technology that he is fighting to keep. He also has a heart for kingdom work and would like to use this company to fund a ministry that I am a part of. This SCARES the enemy for sure! So I went in to the court room and sat with the opposing side and prayed the entire time. I prayed for Robert's protection and success and I also prayed for all of the folks that are trying to steal Robert's company. That night the right side of my mouth became a bit sore and by Sunday night I was in extreme pain and unable to sleep most of the night due to the infection that had set in on the right side of my mouth. The sniper had got me again. I don't know if you have ever had a gum infection before, but it ranks in the top 5 of pain for sure. I went to the dentist on Monday and got some medicine and began to heal. Long story short, it did not heal right and I had exposed jaw bone in the back of my mouth for about a week - a final pot shot by the enemy.... how ridiculous, right?

I knew this whole gum infection thing was a direct attack and had to laugh about it, despite the amount of pain I was in. I began praying about it quite a bit and was really "ok" with the attack. I figured the pain I was experiencing was nothing compared to the cross. I must have read Eph 6 about 10 times during the whole thing.... the armor definitely helps as long as I remember to put it on.

Finally, there have been a number of other attacks on various relationships, some ethical issues at work, silly arguments with my wife that I can not even remember what they were about. The enemy is lurking in the shadows with his sniper rifle and taking shots at me all the time.

I expect the battle to get worse and the attacks to become more intense as my trip to Colorado draws closer. I will stand strong in the faith knowing that angels are near and that the armor of God will protect me. With the authority given to me by the one who lives in me, I will rebuke the enemy and move forward in the battle.

I will glorify Him daily and will always be thankful for His grace and sacrifice that make salvation possible.

Warrior Princess

A piece of Eldredge's book "Captivating" that I really love - my wife, Tammy, just attended "Captivating" in Colorado a short time ago. She is my warrior princess...

“Me, a princess?”
“You are the legal heir.”
“I never lead anyone.”
“We will help you to be a princess, to rule. If you refuse to accept the throne then the kingdom will cease to exist as we know it.”
--The Princess Diaries

In God’s name we must fight them!
--Joan of Arc

Women are often portrayed in stories and tales as the “Damsel in Distress.” We are the ones for whom men rise up and slay dragons. We are the “weaker sex”; said to faint at the sight of blood, needing to be spared the gory details of battle whether on the field or in the market place. We are the ones waiting in our flowing gowns for the knight to come and carry us away on the back of his white horse. And yes. There are days when a knight in shining armor would be most welcome. We do long to be fought for; loved enough to be courageously protected. But there is a mighty fierceness set in the heart of women by God. It is true to who we are and what we are created to do.

Women are warriors too.

Redeemed women of God have tender, merciful hearts, backbones of steel and hands that have been trained for battle. There is something incredibly fierce in the heart of a woman that is to be contended with, not dismissed, not disdained, but recognized, honored, welcomed and trained.

(Captivating , 186-188)