The maze of men and friendship

Back in February, I posted about “Friendship” and how important it had become to me. That has not changed one bit. I have made some really great friends that are believers and most of them are engaged in ministry in one form or another. I still struggle with a few relationships that I would really like to see turn into something wonderful. My wife and I joined a “LifeGroup” at church some time ago in an effort to fellowship with other Christians and meet new friends that we could hang out with. It’s a couples group and all the folks in it are really great. However, I do feel like I made a mistake within this group that has made it feel kind of weird ever since. As a group we meet twice a month and then once a month, we have a “guys night” and once a month we have a “girls night”. We had gone to dinner several months ago and Tammy and I were pretty new to the group at that time. I was sitting with the guys and the subject of a poker night came up and I latched on to that immediately. I really like to play cards and there is just something about the guys sitting around eating chili and pretzels, talking about all kinds of things and trying to win a couple of bucks over a 3 – 4 hour period. I like that. So I kind of took the bull by the horns and started planning the poker nights. What happened next kind of busted my bubble. The leader of the LifeGroup sent out a message after the 2nd or 3rd “poker night” stating that he was concerned about us spending money (buy in was $10) and gambling with the way the economy is going. He recommended that we change it up and that perhaps a movie, dinner, play board games, XBOX or something different once in a while rather than have a standing poker night was a good idea. This sounded great to me, I love board games (not so much an Xbox guy, but I was game). Poker night seemed fine as well. I responded to the message that the leader sent out and simply said that the cost of playing for 3 – 4 was much cheaper than doing anything else like going to a movie or out to eat or anything like that…. The response I got from the entire group we nothing but silence. So, I sent a quick note to one of the guys in the LifeGroup that I really trust and asked what he thought of the whole thing and he felt the same way as I did and sent a message to the group saying the game night was good and we could look at doing things other than Poker and the guys seemed good with that. But I left that situation feeling completely judged by some of the guys in the group and we have never got the whole group of guys together at one time since all of this went down – in fact we really don’t get together at all anymore. It’s like nobody in the group wants to talk about it because they are afraid or something? I don’t get know. What I do know is that when I got in to this group, I was looking for a group where all of us could be ourselves without being judged at all – a place where we could all go and dig in to the Word and learn together while supporting and loving one another. Because Bobby was in track these last several months, Tammy and I have been unable to go to the LifeGroup meetings. We are just now coming up for air and are excited to engage with our group again. They are just starting a study in Proverbs. I have been thinking quite a bit about what to do strengthen the relationships there. I am also thinking that I may be trying too hard, AGAIN. Just like back in February, I continue to feel like I constantly have to reach out to other guys to initiate some form of fellowship or get together. I am beginning to think that most guys, or at least the ones that I have chosen to try and go out with, would rather spend (all) their time doing something other than hanging out with other guys. I think my increased longing to connect with other guys is fed by the Wild at Heart message that I am focusing on in this season. I think about this John Eldridge talk that I attended about a month ago or so quite often. John came to a church here in Seattle to speak for one night on his book Fathered by God. This thing was a sell out and the room was full of men that are either in the message or trying to get in to it – I kind of rushed out of there to get home to the babysitter and really missed an opportunity to network. I have started a group on facebook and ransomedheart.net for men that are in the Wild at Heart message and live in Seattle – its starting slow, but at least its starting. I got one of the Boot Camps that was put on DVD from Ransomed Heart Ministries and plan on studying it and perhaps pulling something together at my church to facilitate a full 4 day event for men. I have been talking to some friends of mine at the church about this and they seem to be excited about the prospect. I have also talked to a few of my other friends about starting a Men’s LifeGroup to read and study the book Wild at Heart. This could be great!! If anybody reading this blog would be interested in this, leave me a comment and I will loop you in. If anybody has any thoughts or comments on this whole friendship thing, I welcome them! As part of my walk with God, I thought I would post this and get some opinions. Am I over thinking it? Am I working too hard at it? Is my approach flawed? Thanks for any thoughts – I love you folks!