The Story of Our Hearts (from Ransomed Heart - Good Stuff)

Communion with God is replaced by activity for God. There is little time in this outer world for deep questions. Given the right plan, everything in life can be managed . . . except your heart.

The inner life, the story of our heart, is the life of the deep places within us, our passions and dreams, our fears and our deepest wounds. It is the unseen life, the mystery within—what Buechner calls our “shimmering self.” It cannot be managed like a corporation. The heart does not respond to principles and programs; it seeks not efficiency, but passion. Art, poetry, beauty, mystery, ecstasy: These are what rouse the heart. Indeed, they are the language that must be spoken if one wishes to communicate with the heart. It is why Jesus so often taught and related to people by telling stories and asking questions. His desire was not just to engage their intellects but to capture their hearts.

Indeed, if we will listen, a Sacred Romance calls to us through our heart every moment of our lives. It whispers to us on the wind, invites us through the laughter of good friends, reaches out to us through the touch of someone we love. We’ve heard it in our favorite music, sensed it at the birth of our first child, been drawn to it while watching the shimmer of a sunset on the ocean. The Romance is even present in times of great personal suffering: the illness of a child, the loss of a marriage, the death of a friend. Something calls to us through experiences like these and rouses an inconsolable longing deep within our heart, wakening in us a yearning for intimacy, beauty, and adventure.

This longing is the most powerful part of any human personality. It fuels our search for meaning, for wholeness, for a sense of being truly alive. However we may describe this deep desire, it is the most important thing about us, our heart of hearts, the passion of our life. And the voice that calls to us in this place is none other than the voice of God.

We cannot hear this voice if we have lost touch with our heart.

(The Sacred Romance , 6–7)

Part of the Journey.....

Several months ago, I was talking to my son Bobby about the enemy. I explained to him that we live in a world at war and that we must constantly be aware that the enemy is present. As part of the discussion, we talked about the traditional story of the birth of Jesus. We talked about the little “precious moments” type angels floating above the manger and the shepherds and maybe a cute little donkey standing somewhere around the manger looking at Jesus. I then turned to Revelation Chapter 12 and explained to my Bobby what was really happening that glorious night. I explained to him the story that he would probably never see on a flannel board in Sunday school…. Bobby was immediately captured by this story. I could see it stirring something in his heart, the excitement and adventure that he experienced in that moment – the mighty angels of God’s army defending the baby Jesus from the enemy that wanted to kill him. We talked about enemy being cast down to the earth and the determination of the enemy to wage war on mankind. Bobby has read this story many times and I know at least one time that he sat my wife Tammy down and read it to her. Very exciting to see this reality bestowed upon him. Today we were driving to down town Seattle to pick up grandma from the train station. It was Tammy, myself, Rebecca, and Joey. Rebecca was sleeping and we were just driving along listening to a CD that Bobby had made a few days prior. The song “Voice of Truth” came on and we were kind of singing along to it and Joey (age 5) said, “hey dad, I bet you don’t think I know what this song is talking about”…… and I said “well what is it about son?”… Joey replied, “its about the devil trying to kill us and Jesus coming to save us, I love Jesus”…… he went on to say, “Bobby told me all about in the bible, we are lucky for Jesus”. I love that the boys are getting this message and beginning to understand what forces exist in this world that will one day need be dealt with by them. They are young today and at different stages in their masculine development, but the fact that the enemy is here is already understood and the boys are not scared, they know that Jesus is with us and the army’s of God will protect us. God is Good!

The maze of men and friendship

Back in February, I posted about “Friendship” and how important it had become to me. That has not changed one bit. I have made some really great friends that are believers and most of them are engaged in ministry in one form or another. I still struggle with a few relationships that I would really like to see turn into something wonderful. My wife and I joined a “LifeGroup” at church some time ago in an effort to fellowship with other Christians and meet new friends that we could hang out with. It’s a couples group and all the folks in it are really great. However, I do feel like I made a mistake within this group that has made it feel kind of weird ever since. As a group we meet twice a month and then once a month, we have a “guys night” and once a month we have a “girls night”. We had gone to dinner several months ago and Tammy and I were pretty new to the group at that time. I was sitting with the guys and the subject of a poker night came up and I latched on to that immediately. I really like to play cards and there is just something about the guys sitting around eating chili and pretzels, talking about all kinds of things and trying to win a couple of bucks over a 3 – 4 hour period. I like that. So I kind of took the bull by the horns and started planning the poker nights. What happened next kind of busted my bubble. The leader of the LifeGroup sent out a message after the 2nd or 3rd “poker night” stating that he was concerned about us spending money (buy in was $10) and gambling with the way the economy is going. He recommended that we change it up and that perhaps a movie, dinner, play board games, XBOX or something different once in a while rather than have a standing poker night was a good idea. This sounded great to me, I love board games (not so much an Xbox guy, but I was game). Poker night seemed fine as well. I responded to the message that the leader sent out and simply said that the cost of playing for 3 – 4 was much cheaper than doing anything else like going to a movie or out to eat or anything like that…. The response I got from the entire group we nothing but silence. So, I sent a quick note to one of the guys in the LifeGroup that I really trust and asked what he thought of the whole thing and he felt the same way as I did and sent a message to the group saying the game night was good and we could look at doing things other than Poker and the guys seemed good with that. But I left that situation feeling completely judged by some of the guys in the group and we have never got the whole group of guys together at one time since all of this went down – in fact we really don’t get together at all anymore. It’s like nobody in the group wants to talk about it because they are afraid or something? I don’t get know. What I do know is that when I got in to this group, I was looking for a group where all of us could be ourselves without being judged at all – a place where we could all go and dig in to the Word and learn together while supporting and loving one another. Because Bobby was in track these last several months, Tammy and I have been unable to go to the LifeGroup meetings. We are just now coming up for air and are excited to engage with our group again. They are just starting a study in Proverbs. I have been thinking quite a bit about what to do strengthen the relationships there. I am also thinking that I may be trying too hard, AGAIN. Just like back in February, I continue to feel like I constantly have to reach out to other guys to initiate some form of fellowship or get together. I am beginning to think that most guys, or at least the ones that I have chosen to try and go out with, would rather spend (all) their time doing something other than hanging out with other guys. I think my increased longing to connect with other guys is fed by the Wild at Heart message that I am focusing on in this season. I think about this John Eldridge talk that I attended about a month ago or so quite often. John came to a church here in Seattle to speak for one night on his book Fathered by God. This thing was a sell out and the room was full of men that are either in the message or trying to get in to it – I kind of rushed out of there to get home to the babysitter and really missed an opportunity to network. I have started a group on facebook and ransomedheart.net for men that are in the Wild at Heart message and live in Seattle – its starting slow, but at least its starting. I got one of the Boot Camps that was put on DVD from Ransomed Heart Ministries and plan on studying it and perhaps pulling something together at my church to facilitate a full 4 day event for men. I have been talking to some friends of mine at the church about this and they seem to be excited about the prospect. I have also talked to a few of my other friends about starting a Men’s LifeGroup to read and study the book Wild at Heart. This could be great!! If anybody reading this blog would be interested in this, leave me a comment and I will loop you in. If anybody has any thoughts or comments on this whole friendship thing, I welcome them! As part of my walk with God, I thought I would post this and get some opinions. Am I over thinking it? Am I working too hard at it? Is my approach flawed? Thanks for any thoughts – I love you folks!

One fun ride!!!!!

God Is Good! I wanted to share a recent series of events that demonstrates how God is working in my life these past several months. Since the last Boot Camp NW in April 2009.

So, here goes. I came back from Boot Camp in April and for about a week afterward I was experiencing some serious warfare that was really wearing my down. I posted about it back then. In any event, I met with a couple of the elder's from my church and began talking seriously about becoming involved with them in a non-profit organization called iPursuit. Knowing that this was a move in to ministry, and feeling God's calling, I engaged with them. After joining iPursuit, we began to look at the technological needs of certain regions in the world - water pump technology in the Sudan, Air Pollution in India, Human Trafficking in Thailand, etc. Back in January 2009, I also began speaking to GE Healthcare in Seattle about a global director role in that organization and was still in talks with them over these several months. As a result of looking at some potential root cause solutions for global issues, we decided to start working on a "for profit" business to act as a bridge to bring cutting edge technologies from the US, into regions in need. Last Monday we signed the final documents with the lawyers to finalize the formation of this business. Praise the Lord. Now, since just before Boot Camp, I was having some issues with my lower back and sciatic nerve pain. It has worsened over these past several weeks and I finally went in for an MRI this past Tuesday. Right after the MRI, I drove over to the church to meet with a couple friends to pray. We sat around ad discussed what it was we wanted to pray for and simply landed on just thanking God for his blessings and worshipping and glorifying His name. It was awesome - we did this for close to an hour and a half and were completely wiped out when we were done! I love that. Afterward, I walked out to my car and began to drive out of the parking lot when my phone rang and t was GE Healthcare....... my new boss was calling to offer me employment. Bigger than anything I have ever had in my life. I was so stoked. The beauty of this is that throughout my discussions with GE, I disclosed my involvement with iPursuit and this new company and said I would continue to work with them even if I took the role with GE. I figured if that was not OK with them than that was not the place that God had for me. Turns out, they are ok with the Kingdom work and are really pleased to have me coming aboard......I then found out that afternoon that I had been selected in the Lottery to attend te Ransomed Heart Book Camp in October in Colorado! Needless to say, I am emotionally drained coming into the end of this week and indescribably thankful for Jesus, His protection, Hs guidance, and His grace....... and most importantly, the Cross!

We've Bought the Lie

After his resurrection, Jesus sends us all out to do what he did: “As the Father has sent me, so I send you” (John 20:21 NRSV). And he gives us his authority to do it: “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go” (Matt. 28:18–19). Why else would he have given us his authority if we weren’t supposed to use it?

The attitude of so many Christians today is anything but fierce. We’re passive, acquiescent. We’re acting as if the battle is over, as if the wolf and the lamb are now fast friends. Good grief—we’re beating swords into plowshares as the armies of the Evil One descend upon us. We’ve bought the lie of the Religious Spirit, which says, “You don’t need to fight the Enemy. Let Jesus do that.” It’s nonsense. It’s unbiblical. It’s like a private in Vietnam saying, “My commander will do all the fighting for me; I don’t even need to fire my weapon.” We are commanded to “resist the devil, and he will flee from you” (James 4:7). We are told, “Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him” (1 Peter 5:8–9); “Fight the good fight” (1 Tim. 1:18); “Rescue those being led away to death” (Prov. 24:11).

Seriously, just this morning a man said to me, “We don’t need to fight the Enemy. Jesus has won.” Yes, Jesus has won the victory over Satan and his kingdom. However, the battle is not over. Look at 1 Corinthians 15:24–25: “Then the end will come, when he [Jesus] hands over the kingdom to God the Father after he has destroyed all dominion, authority and power. For he must reign until he has put all his enemies under his feet.” After he has destroyed the rest of the Enemy’s works. Until then, he must reign by bringing his enemies under his feet. Jesus is still at war, and he calls us to join him.

(Waking the Dead , 167–68)

I am thankful, that is for sure.........

First let me say that it is a bit difficult to see the screen with the tears flowing the way they are. I wanted to let you know after several months, I have been offered a position at GE Healthcare here in Seattle. I have prayed quite a bit and searched my heart often for clarity around God’s plan and to understand if GE was even supposed to be in the mix. I am certain after several experiences that this is exactly God’s plan for me at this time in my life. There are 2 other ventures that I have embarked on as well – first, I joined a non-profit organization several months ago called iPursuit and as of today we have officially formed a for profit business to bring technology and solutions into some of the darkest parts of the world. As I was going through discussions with GE, I was very open about disclosing my involvement and continued involvement in growing the Kingdom. All along the way, GE has been fine with my desire to continue with iPursuit and our new business. God is Good. The blessing that my family received today from our Father is much more than just a simple opportunity to work, it is an opportunity to return my blessings to the Kingdom in several ways. To be completely honest, I have always known that God would come through and I was never at any point concerned about the future – I have always known that God has this all under His control. After hearing the news today, I immediately came home and began to worship in thanks to God and to glorify Him once again for showering me with His grace. My Heart is absolutely on fire right now and as I sit here with tears running down my cheeks I am seeking the next opportunity to do something, anything, for the Kingdom.

I love my wife so much and am so thankful for her - God has given me my best friend and my wife rolled up in to one. Tammy definitely fills the holes and washes away my wounds with her love and support! I love her strength, her honesty, her smile, her determination, her beauty, and her wisdom. I could not have ask for a more perfect person to be on this journey with!

I am truly humbled and thankful to the Lord on high....... the Alpha and the Omega - the beginning and the end.... God's grace and love really kicks butt!