Bootcamp

I attended a christian retreat this past weekend facilitated by a group of volunteers in an organization known as Bootcamp Northwest.This is the same retreat that attended last year in Easton, WA. The retreat was held in Wild Horse Canyon down in Oregon and the weather and setting were equally breathtaking. On the last day of the event, Glen [one of the speakers] gave us all about 40 minutes to go off [called a covenant of silence during the event, there were many] and pray and answer some questions about how we intended to move forward in the battle and what our "plan" would actually look like. During this time, I was sitting there pondering these questions and writing down my answers when I was suddenly attacked. This voice in my head said, "you don't want to do this, man - this is going to be hard" and I thought, yeah this is going to be hard. The voice then said, "why are you even here? this is just a bunch of "touchy feely" junk" and I thought, yeah this is sort of a waste of time... the voice then said "if you don't church or hang around these christian dude's, nobody can hold you accountable for making sure you stay on track". It was at this point that I understood that I was in battle. I rebuked the enemy in the name of Jesus Christ and continued to work through the remaining questions in peace. The reason I am sharing this is that when I was driving back to Seattle with my friend, Kevin, I was telling him about this experience and he too came under attack at right around the same time. When we returned from the Covenant of Silence, our senses were heightened as we entered the meeting room and there was a sense that the enemy was present. I am curious to know if anybody else felt this or had a similar experience during this time? I posted a question on our networking site to find out. Make no mistake - the enemy lost some ground this past weekend, and he was not happy about it. Our weapons were sharpened this weekend and many men present at the event joined the ranks of God's army. These events are so awesome. I will be moving in tot he advanced session next spring and will likely continue to make an annual pilgrimage to these events as long as Bootcamp Northwest exists. I am planning to take my son, Josh, to the Bootcamp hosted by John Eldridge and Ransomed Heart Ministries in Colorado as soon as our number comes up. We were wait listed for last one after the lottery. This stuff is so powerful - I can not begin to tell you how the healing process offers so much freedom.

Entering the Kingdom

I travelled to San Diego this past week. My grandmother passed away on Easter Sunday. I was at complete peace with my grandmother's passing as she has had a rough go at it for the past several months. While celebrating the most significant event in my faith, I was able to celebrate my grandmother entering God's kingdom on the same day. I was not really prepared to speak at my grandmother's service, but managed to get up and try an remember some of the things that wrote in a past post called "preparing a place" - only instead of me preparing a place for my grandmother to come live with me, God had prepared a place for my grandmother within His kingdom.

I went to San Diego on Tuesday and came home on Thursday. The service was held on Weds. given the challenges I experienced with my family over the past year, my hope was to take some of the time outside the service to make mends with my brother's - unfortunately, that did not happen. The entire experience as far as my family goes was somewhat awkward from the get go. I had planned my trip without letting people know and some members of my family took exception to that and thought I intentionally hid this information to make it hard on them to plan. Being challenged on this was the very first thing I was spoken to about upon getting in to San Diego. Needless to say, this set the tone for my entire visit.

I have spent hours praying about this and seeking peace with my family. My heart was definitely broken over this ordeal. I continue to seek God's grace when it comes to these events in my life. I am thankful that my brother's and their wives are getting along great. After years of not getting along and not enjoying one another's company - they have bonded. This makes me very happy because for several years every time I would go to San Diego, I would make it a point to try and get everybody together for a BBQ or something and this always felt like such a chore, because of how everybody felt toward one another. I pray that these relationships continue to grow and that they continue to bond and hang out together.

I am really happy that I made the trip to San Diego and that I was able to say goodbye to my grandmother and find peace as well as freedom. The only thing that I wish could have been done differently would have been having my children be able to see my grandma when she was of clear heart and mind. When I went to San Diego several months ago to help my grandmother pack up some of her thing for the move the Northwest, she pulled a few items together for each of the great-grandchildren. She then met with each of them and gave them each a gift (silver certificates, jewelry my grandfather had given her, etc.). As she presented this stuff to her great-grandchildren, she explained the history behind each item. Because her plan was to move to the Northwest and live with us, my children were not included in this. Since everything spun out of control and my grandmother was convinced to stay in San Diego, my children and Tammy (my wife) and I do not have one single item that belonged to grandmother. Everything that my grandmother owned was either given to other members of the family in San Diego or dropped off a good will; nothing was put in storage. So the only thing that we have are the memories of grandma, which is fine for me and Tammy, but it sure would have been something special for my kids to have received something "special" from my grandmother.

I am at peace with everything that has happened. I have prayed for forgiveness for the anger that I once felt and for the things that I may have said out of anger. I know that I am forgiven for this through God's grace and I have learned from this experience and grown stronger in my faith. I will continue to pray daily for peace within my family.

Several months ago, about the exact time that things started to go out of whack with my family, I attended a men's retreat called Bootcamp, run by Bootcamp Northwest (www.bootcampnw.com). It is a retreat based on the book Wild at Heart. Bootcamp Northwest is having another retreat in Wild Horse Canyon down in Oregon beginning this Thursday and going until Sunday. I am going to be attending this retreat (again) and am truly looking forward to it. With everything that has happened over the past several months, a "booster shot" in faith is a welcome treat for me. I am sure you will be hearing more about this event in blog after I get back.

In my previous post, I talked about a number of opportunities that I have been considering. I have prayed quite a bit about these opportunities and it is definitely on my heart to aggressively go after the missionary work and begin working with my friend Jeff's non-profit organization full time. I have been somewhat resistant to this simply because of the risk, but I really feel like this is where God wants me. So, I guess its time to start getting my shot records up to date for travel in to some of the darkest places in the world. Amen.

Stay tuned - I will be gone for a few days working on my heart.......

The Forks in the Road

There are quite a few things I have been praying about these days. I have not been working for quite a while and have really enjoyed the time with the family. This has been a real blessing as far as God's plan goes. I have really been able to get to know my kids better and the quality time with the family has been priceless.

I have been struggling quite a bit with next steps and where my place is in God's kingdom. There have been three developments that I am praying about and need to make some decisions about pretty quickly. First off, the company that I worked for prior to forming my own company (3 years ago) is talking to me about coming back and taking a role there leading Process Improvement efforts across the organization. Second, I spoke with a large medical device company today and they are interested in having me run the Quality department for a division of the company that is headquartered here in Seattle. Third, a friend of mine that runs a non-profit organization that brings hope to countries around the world through missionary work is interested in forming a "for profit" business that would focus on bringing cutting edge technologies to countries in need (i.e. drilling wells deeper, providing cleaner emissions,alternative energy sources, etc.). The proceeds from this business would be poured right back in to the non-profit for "kingdom" work. My friend wants me to help form the company and run it.

I am struggling with whether or not I want to move back in to a "corporate" role doing what I have done for years or taking on this opportunity with my friend to do Kingdom work. There is certainly a lot more security and predictability in the corporate role, but is that where God wants me? These are the things that I will be praying about and surrendering to God over the next several days. I am praying for clarity around God's will for me.

As far as opportunities go, things have been pretty quiet for the past several months with the economy and all. So what can I say? "When it rains it pours" - stay tuned.