Looking at everything differently....

So I have a completely new prospective on everything because of the life changing experiences associated with BCNW (Boot Camp Northwest). Unless you have young kids, you may never see the movie "Surf's Up", and if you do have kids, you may not have watched the movie through the "Wild at Heart" lens, I would like to share a peak. Below is a clip (10 Minutes, well worth the time) - this is the story of boy (Cody) who lost his father when he was very young. Cody has always wanted to be a pro surfer and has experienced a lot of brokeness in his life. In this clip you will see Cody and a charater named Big Z. Cody's path has led him to Big Z and in this clip you will see Big Z father Cody and then share some of his own "brokeness" around the campfire. The end of the clip is the best, because Cody lets go and you will see him walk through and overcome the brokeness that has kept him from becoming who he was meant to be.... enjoy!. By the way, I have 4 kids and since coming home from the last boot camp, have used this as an example with my 12 year old when discussing my story and seeking to understand his. Here goes! I know it sounds a little corny, but try to watch the clip through a lens that gets to the heart of how we become (or don't become) who we were meant to be.

Bootcamp

I attended a christian retreat this past weekend facilitated by a group of volunteers in an organization known as Bootcamp Northwest.This is the same retreat that attended last year in Easton, WA. The retreat was held in Wild Horse Canyon down in Oregon and the weather and setting were equally breathtaking. On the last day of the event, Glen [one of the speakers] gave us all about 40 minutes to go off [called a covenant of silence during the event, there were many] and pray and answer some questions about how we intended to move forward in the battle and what our "plan" would actually look like. During this time, I was sitting there pondering these questions and writing down my answers when I was suddenly attacked. This voice in my head said, "you don't want to do this, man - this is going to be hard" and I thought, yeah this is going to be hard. The voice then said, "why are you even here? this is just a bunch of "touchy feely" junk" and I thought, yeah this is sort of a waste of time... the voice then said "if you don't church or hang around these christian dude's, nobody can hold you accountable for making sure you stay on track". It was at this point that I understood that I was in battle. I rebuked the enemy in the name of Jesus Christ and continued to work through the remaining questions in peace. The reason I am sharing this is that when I was driving back to Seattle with my friend, Kevin, I was telling him about this experience and he too came under attack at right around the same time. When we returned from the Covenant of Silence, our senses were heightened as we entered the meeting room and there was a sense that the enemy was present. I am curious to know if anybody else felt this or had a similar experience during this time? I posted a question on our networking site to find out. Make no mistake - the enemy lost some ground this past weekend, and he was not happy about it. Our weapons were sharpened this weekend and many men present at the event joined the ranks of God's army. These events are so awesome. I will be moving in tot he advanced session next spring and will likely continue to make an annual pilgrimage to these events as long as Bootcamp Northwest exists. I am planning to take my son, Josh, to the Bootcamp hosted by John Eldridge and Ransomed Heart Ministries in Colorado as soon as our number comes up. We were wait listed for last one after the lottery. This stuff is so powerful - I can not begin to tell you how the healing process offers so much freedom.

Entering the Kingdom

I travelled to San Diego this past week. My grandmother passed away on Easter Sunday. I was at complete peace with my grandmother's passing as she has had a rough go at it for the past several months. While celebrating the most significant event in my faith, I was able to celebrate my grandmother entering God's kingdom on the same day. I was not really prepared to speak at my grandmother's service, but managed to get up and try an remember some of the things that wrote in a past post called "preparing a place" - only instead of me preparing a place for my grandmother to come live with me, God had prepared a place for my grandmother within His kingdom.

I went to San Diego on Tuesday and came home on Thursday. The service was held on Weds. given the challenges I experienced with my family over the past year, my hope was to take some of the time outside the service to make mends with my brother's - unfortunately, that did not happen. The entire experience as far as my family goes was somewhat awkward from the get go. I had planned my trip without letting people know and some members of my family took exception to that and thought I intentionally hid this information to make it hard on them to plan. Being challenged on this was the very first thing I was spoken to about upon getting in to San Diego. Needless to say, this set the tone for my entire visit.

I have spent hours praying about this and seeking peace with my family. My heart was definitely broken over this ordeal. I continue to seek God's grace when it comes to these events in my life. I am thankful that my brother's and their wives are getting along great. After years of not getting along and not enjoying one another's company - they have bonded. This makes me very happy because for several years every time I would go to San Diego, I would make it a point to try and get everybody together for a BBQ or something and this always felt like such a chore, because of how everybody felt toward one another. I pray that these relationships continue to grow and that they continue to bond and hang out together.

I am really happy that I made the trip to San Diego and that I was able to say goodbye to my grandmother and find peace as well as freedom. The only thing that I wish could have been done differently would have been having my children be able to see my grandma when she was of clear heart and mind. When I went to San Diego several months ago to help my grandmother pack up some of her thing for the move the Northwest, she pulled a few items together for each of the great-grandchildren. She then met with each of them and gave them each a gift (silver certificates, jewelry my grandfather had given her, etc.). As she presented this stuff to her great-grandchildren, she explained the history behind each item. Because her plan was to move to the Northwest and live with us, my children were not included in this. Since everything spun out of control and my grandmother was convinced to stay in San Diego, my children and Tammy (my wife) and I do not have one single item that belonged to grandmother. Everything that my grandmother owned was either given to other members of the family in San Diego or dropped off a good will; nothing was put in storage. So the only thing that we have are the memories of grandma, which is fine for me and Tammy, but it sure would have been something special for my kids to have received something "special" from my grandmother.

I am at peace with everything that has happened. I have prayed for forgiveness for the anger that I once felt and for the things that I may have said out of anger. I know that I am forgiven for this through God's grace and I have learned from this experience and grown stronger in my faith. I will continue to pray daily for peace within my family.

Several months ago, about the exact time that things started to go out of whack with my family, I attended a men's retreat called Bootcamp, run by Bootcamp Northwest (www.bootcampnw.com). It is a retreat based on the book Wild at Heart. Bootcamp Northwest is having another retreat in Wild Horse Canyon down in Oregon beginning this Thursday and going until Sunday. I am going to be attending this retreat (again) and am truly looking forward to it. With everything that has happened over the past several months, a "booster shot" in faith is a welcome treat for me. I am sure you will be hearing more about this event in blog after I get back.

In my previous post, I talked about a number of opportunities that I have been considering. I have prayed quite a bit about these opportunities and it is definitely on my heart to aggressively go after the missionary work and begin working with my friend Jeff's non-profit organization full time. I have been somewhat resistant to this simply because of the risk, but I really feel like this is where God wants me. So, I guess its time to start getting my shot records up to date for travel in to some of the darkest places in the world. Amen.

Stay tuned - I will be gone for a few days working on my heart.......

The Forks in the Road

There are quite a few things I have been praying about these days. I have not been working for quite a while and have really enjoyed the time with the family. This has been a real blessing as far as God's plan goes. I have really been able to get to know my kids better and the quality time with the family has been priceless.

I have been struggling quite a bit with next steps and where my place is in God's kingdom. There have been three developments that I am praying about and need to make some decisions about pretty quickly. First off, the company that I worked for prior to forming my own company (3 years ago) is talking to me about coming back and taking a role there leading Process Improvement efforts across the organization. Second, I spoke with a large medical device company today and they are interested in having me run the Quality department for a division of the company that is headquartered here in Seattle. Third, a friend of mine that runs a non-profit organization that brings hope to countries around the world through missionary work is interested in forming a "for profit" business that would focus on bringing cutting edge technologies to countries in need (i.e. drilling wells deeper, providing cleaner emissions,alternative energy sources, etc.). The proceeds from this business would be poured right back in to the non-profit for "kingdom" work. My friend wants me to help form the company and run it.

I am struggling with whether or not I want to move back in to a "corporate" role doing what I have done for years or taking on this opportunity with my friend to do Kingdom work. There is certainly a lot more security and predictability in the corporate role, but is that where God wants me? These are the things that I will be praying about and surrendering to God over the next several days. I am praying for clarity around God's will for me.

As far as opportunities go, things have been pretty quiet for the past several months with the economy and all. So what can I say? "When it rains it pours" - stay tuned.

We are at War

I got this from in an email last night and thought I would share it. Its another extract from "Waking the Dead". Although I have read this book a couple of times, it always seems like a light bulb comes on when I get messages like this.... For those of you in the Seattle area, I also received an email from Bootcamp Northwest and they will be hold a 2 session discussion this Friday night at Overlake Christian Church in Redmond. Bootcamp Northwest puts on a retreat periodically (I attended last year here in WA ) based on the book "Wild At Heart". If you can make the sessions, I am sure you will walk away with some level of enlightenment.

(Waking the Dead, Pages 29 - 30)

The Second Eternal Truth brought to us comes like a broken message over the radio or an urgent e-mail from a distant country telling us that some great struggle or quest or battle is well under way. May even be hanging in the balance. When the four children stumble into Narnia, the country and all its lovely creatures are imprisoned under the spell of the White Witch and have been for a hundred years. In another story, Jack and his mother are starving and must sell their only cow. Frodo barely makes it out of the Shire with his life and the ring of power. In the nick of time he learns that Bilbo’s magic ring is the One Ring, that Sauron has discovered its whereabouts, and that the Nine Black Riders are already across the borders searching for the little hobbit with deadly intent. The future of Middle Earth hangs on a thread.

Again, this is exactly what the Scriptures have been trying to wake us up to for years. “Wake up, O sleeper . . . Be very careful, then, how you live . . . because the days are evil” (Eph. 5:14–16). Or as The Message has it: “So watch your step. Use your head. Make the most of every chance you get. These are desperate times!” Christianity isn’t a religion about going to Sunday school, potluck suppers, being nice, holding car washes, sending our secondhand clothes off to Mexico. This is a world at war. Something large and immensely dangerous is unfolding all around us, we are caught up in it, and above all we doubt we have been given a key role to play. Do you think I’m being too dramatic?

Waking the Dead....

I have been reading this book called "Waking the Dead". I read in bits and pieces, which is to say, I do not pick it up and read it every day... In light of my upcoming baptism, I thought I would share these passages from the book. I got this tonight.....



Waking the Dead, Pages 56-57

"The Phoenix rises from the ashes. Cinderella rises from the cinders to become a queen. The Ugly Duckling becomes a beautiful swan. Pinocchio becomes a real boy. The frog becomes a prince. The Cowardly Lion gets his courage, the Scarecrow his brains, and the Tin Woodman a new heart. They are all transformed into the very thing they never thought they could be.

Why are we enchanted by tales of transformation? I can’t think of a movie or novel or fairy tale that doesn’t somehow turn on this. Why is it an essential part of any great story? Because it is the secret to Christianity, and Christianity is the secret to the universe. “You must be born again” (John 3:7). You must be transformed. Keeping the Law, following the rules, polishing up your manners—none of that will do. “What counts is whether we really have been changed into new and different people” (Gal. 6:15). Is this not the message of the Gospel? Zacchaeus the trickster becomes Zacchaeus the Honest One. Mary the whore becomes Mary the Last of the Truly Faithful. Paul the self-righteous murderer becomes Paul the Humble Apostle.

And us? I doubt many of us would go so far as to say we’re transformed. Perhaps we have changed a bit in what we believe and how we act. We confess the creeds now, and we’ve gotten our temper under control . . . for the most part. But “transformed” seems a bit too much to claim. How about “forgiven and on our way”? That’s how most Christians would describe what’s happened to them. It’s partly true . . . and partly untrue, and the part that’s untrue is what’s killing us. We’ve been told that even though we have placed our hope in Christ, even though we have become his followers, our hearts are still desperately wicked. And of course, so long as we believe that our hearts remain untouched, unchanged, we will pretty much live untouched and unchanged. For our heart is the wellspring of life within us."

The Next Step in my walk with Him

Baptism. I registered for the next baptism service at OCC last night. In previous blogs, I have explained my baptism as a youth at Hope Lutheran Church. This is a really significant step for me in my walk with God. This will be the first time that I will be baptized through submersion. Baptism in water is an important next step for me since surrendering my life to Jesus Christ. First, it is a public acknowledgment that I am a Christian. Second, it symbolizes Jesus’ death, burial, and resurrection, and proclaims my new identity in Christ. Third, it demonstrates the fact that Christ has forgiven me and “washed” away my sins. Finally, it is an act of obedience to Christ. I am excited and looking forward to Weds night. My wife, Tammy, and son, Bobby, also registered for baptism Weds.